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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Love Yourself, Girl, or Nobody WIll

You know what no one can take away from you, no matter how hard they try? Your self worth and your confidence.

In a world where people hand out constructive criticism and their version of life-enhancing tips like it's candy on Halloween night, it's no wonder so many people fall victim to poor self esteem. But, here's the hidden code in the game. You have the power--ALWAYS--to take the criticism/advice/tips you want and leave the rest.

No one said that you have to be everything to everyone. So don't try to be. Be what you want to be to who you want to be it to. Make sense? And, if I'm sprinkling my two cents (which I'm gonna because after all, it is my blog), make sure your top three influencers on the list of Those People I Want to Be Everything To start with Me, Myself, and I. Sound self centered and selfish? It shouldn't. Here's why.

You can only distribute to the world what you translate yourself to be. Sound complicated? Let me break it down for you. If you're less than confident, hesitant around every corner, and every "statement" out of your mouth has an unnecessary inflection at the end (leading everything to sound like a question), then you're not fooling anybody--including yourself. But, if you're the walk-with-a-purpose, head held high, and  every statement out of your mouth is just that--a statement--kinda person, then either you're faking it until you make it (and good job, if no one can tell the difference) or you've accomplished the holy grail of self confidence.

And, once you've crossed the threshold, the possibilities are endless. Now, don't get me wrong. There's a fine line between confidence and cockiness, and if you're truly a high-functioning individual that has mastered his/her craft (whatever that may be), you'll be wise enough to know the difference. That game-changing difference means knowing when the optimal time is to make yourself known and when it's appropriate to practice the art of humility. For all intents and purposes, it's the game-changing play that will determine if others want to play on your team because you have lots to offer to the world or if they fight to occupy the furthest seat from you on the bench because your too-good attitude is one that others fear is contagious, and just plain ugly.

Just remember, you hold the scale on your self worth, and the validation you seek--if any--is determined by you. If you fall short in the esteem category and you just can't seem to love yourself, then it's a pretty safe bet that no one will because transparency will bleed through. You could be showered with compliments, accomplishments, and flattery, but if your self worth and validation doesn't start with you, trust that no amount of accolades is going to make any difference in the world to you. You control your value, and how you ultimately measure it, so define it. And, work every day to live up to it.
[ J.Cole: Crooked Smile]


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