Today posed me with a challenge as I fought--minute after minute--the intrinsic characteristic that makes me...me. I possess and always have had an insatiable need to scream from the rooftops for those that don't have their own voice, for those that have the voice but not the strength, or for those that truly don't know what to say. I live to advocate for those that need advocating.
But, today, I was defeated by that which in any other environment I would've screamed until every one of my vocal cords was raw. See, six months ago today, my family lost a piece of our family puzzle. Not just any piece. Like, one of the most vital pieces to the puzzle. You know? The kind of piece that holds all the others together. Like the corner one. Yeah, exactly like the corner one. The ones whose job it is to hold the sides together. The kind of piece that when missing causes all the other pieces to not fit quite so snuggly. Instead, the other pieces are hanging on from one side because there's a big gap on the side that should be tightly fitted by the corner piece. Well, THAT piece was lost to us.
In an act of unnecessary violence committed by the organized entity that you and I entrust on a daily basis to "protect us," our "puzzle piece's" life was cut unfairly short. And, I should've screamed about it. I should've written letters, interviewed on TV stations, tweeted, Facebooked, YouTubed. Hell, I should've created yard signs as big as Rhode Island to state my case. But, I didn't. I sat quietly. For six months. I don't even sit quietly for 10 minutes in a staff meeting.
True, to go at this would've taken an army, but that should've been a fight I was willing to fight. Because now for as long as I live, I'll wonder "what if." What if I had written letters, interviewed on TV stations, tweeted, Facebooked, YouTubed, made big ass signs? Might something have finally happened? Something that maybe got questions to be answered, that enforced true transparency, that made others that had been in our shoes come forward. But, you wait long enough--like six months--and the opportunity to ask that behaviors be challenged slips away. Then, it results in another senseless death in the books at the hands of those that "protect and serve." Investigation closed. Book closed. You lose. Next case.
Where was my voice?
Speak your mind. Shout from the rooftops. Make yourself heard. Knock on doors, and if no one is home, go to the next one, and KNOCK HARDER! Don't let your voice be silenced. Don't let anyone turn you away from you gut. Believe in what you say and, pretty soon, after enough doors are knocked on, someone will believe it, too. There's power in numbers, but it has to start somewhere. And if you're female, guess what? You'll probably have to scream louder and be more assertive than the next. Don't be convinced that you're nagging or being dramatic, because we, as women, are born with a gift that no one can take away. It's a gift of intuition, and it rarely steers you wrong.
Walk quietly and carry a big stick? I call bullshit. Walk hard and loud. And proud. Let the world know you're coming. And, a big stick wouldn't hurt either ;-)
[Beyonce: Listen]
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